Saturday, August 1, 2009
terrible...horrible...vegetable:( time is flying past at a speed faster than light! GOSH! and next and next next week is packed with prep exams. sadly, i have not start studying... not even when my goal is to to prove to those who look down on me. so dead. anyway last friday screw up the freaking tough CHAM SPA! A DEFINITE ZERO! so demoralising. not just that, that day was saddening, with constant dirtying of my eye as my cornea were frequently clouded with dust.
on the journey home after NYAA SILVER, i wondered many things.
i was just sad. no idea why. everytime i think of past, the history of my life, i really hope that i can turn back time and rewind everything. i lack confidence, but i really want to achieve it. though the comments given to me on that day maybe sarcasm, but i don't want to care (at least i try not to) losing a battle once not necessarily means that i will lose every battle i meet in my life. i agree that upon seeing you guys i will feel dejected without fail. but i seriously don't see why can't you just be appreciative of what i had done. moreover i am so not able to accept that i have lost, therefore i am determined to prove to you! no, not for you only, for those who look down on me! yes, i can't deny that life is unfair. things don't always go the way i want. but don't you have any guilty conscience? its ok though. i know i have to suit to it, the faster the adaptation the better. but maybe things will change, the future lies in our hands. i do not believe i can't be who i want to be and who i believe to be... i will not give up no matter what.
lastly, i hate liars, egoistic people. i don't know why you had done all the kind of things. and i don't really give a damn. in the 1st place you are the one who keeps thinking that you know everything. so ya. dont blame me.
wait and see. no i don;t do it for anyone. this time its just solely for me and those who have been helping me through all the hardship.
@9:21 PM
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